The Greatest Fear of All

Many parents will tell you that their greatest fear is something happening to their child. Until today, I had no idea what that fear would actually feel like. I will never forget the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realized that Alexis was not in the house and that the front door was not closed. Words cannot explain the pain, the anguish, the helplessness, and oh yes...the fear. Not just a normal fear like the fear when one says, "I am afraid of dogs." It went much deeper and ran much colder. My head was spinning and I couldn't breath. I heard her name coming from my lips, but it was so surreal, almost like someone else's voice was coming out of my mouth. For a brief moment I experienced complete and utter despair. In that moment I imagined every horrible possible outcome and thought that I would never see her again. I don't even remember dialing 9-1-1, but I know I did. I remember telling the operator that my 2 year-old was missing and then struggling to describe her and what she was wearing. Relief came when she told me they had found my baby girl and that she was okay. It was not complete relief yet. That didn't come until the moment I saw my beloved husband coming down the street with our little girl held tight in his arms. I cannot imagine how I would have survived had God not brought her home safely to us. I am so thankful that he saw fit to return her to us. I am also thankful for our neighbors and my brother-in-law who helped us look for her and for the couple who saw our little angel 4 blocks from home and kept her safe until we could get to her. I think of the many parents who must face the reality that their children are not coming home and my heart breaks for them.