Discipline (or the lack thereof)

Alexis is becoming nearly impossible to discipline. Timeouts are just a time for her to sit and look cute. Spankings are a temporary fix (sometimes) but usually hurt me more than they hurt her. I asked her yesterday if she wanted me to spank her. Her response: "Yes, I do. Please spank me." At which point she turned her bottom to me and said "Go ahead". Today, I decided to try taking things away from her as a way to encourage her to listen. It all started because she didn't want to get dressed and she didn't want to have her hair combed. She laid down in the middle of the hallway and refused to move. Here is how our conversation went:

Me: Alexis. It is time to get dressed. If you aren't standing in front of me by the time I count to five, you will not watch any TV this morning. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5. (I go to the hallway where she is still laying down) No TV this morning. (At this point she realizes she messed up and starts screaming)

Alexis: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I wanna watch TV. I'll get dressed.

Me: Sorry honey. It's too late. No TV, but you are going to get dressed. (as she's still not moving toward the couch to get dressed I decided to threaten to take more away) I am going to start taking toys away if you don't come here right now.

Alexis: Go ahead. Take them all away. Throw them in the trash. Want me to help you?

Words cannot explain how hard it is not to laugh when your 2 (almost 3) year old is just so matter-of-fact. So as you can see, this doesn't seem to be a successful method of discipline with her either. What will I ever do when this child is a teenager? God help me!

Though she spent most of the morning begging for TV, we did have the opportunity to spend some quality time together without Sprout. I think I shall keep all mornings television free. After she got over being mad at me, we really have had quite a fun day. Now if only she could learn to listen....