Sadness

Since we've lived in our house for a year and a half now, we finally decided it was time to finish unpacking and clean out the garage. It will probably take another year to finish, but we got a good start today. We cleared out at least half of the boxes and threw away a lot of garbage. However, most of the stuff we got rid of was baby stuff. I have one bag of clothes and one box of toys that I plan to keep as a way of remembering Alexis and Justin's childhood; the clothes they came home in, their holiday outfits, some special outfits that they wore often, baby rattles, etc. Other than that, we let everything else go. I took about 8 boxes of clothes, toys, and other baby stuff to the Salvation Army and have another 8 boxes that my sister-in-law (SIL) is coming to go through since she is having a baby girl in May. As we unloaded the boxes at the Salvation Army, it was a bittersweet moment. Anthony had a vasectomy a year ago so we knew we weren't having anymore kids, but getting rid of everything somehow made it more final. As I watch Alexis & Justin grow from babies into a little girl and boy, I feel the joys of watching them become little people, yet I also feel the loss of having little babies. Life gets so much easier as they become more independent, but I long for the days of holding them and rocking them. Thankfully, Justin is still a cuddler. He still crawls into my lap and just cuddles. He still gives me hugs and kisses for no reason and he still crawls into my bed in the morning just to be with me. Alexis was never really a cuddle bug so I will hold onto Justin's "baby-like" behavior as long as I possibly can, probably much longer than I should, but since I won't be having anymore, I'll enjoy every moment.